Marti Talbott's Highlander Series, Volume 5 Page 17

  “I see. Are you betrothed?”

  “Nay, not yet.”

  He pretended to look back to check on the horses so she could not see how pleased he was to hear it. “I believe my laird is thinking of having a feast to which the Haldanes will be invited. Do you think your brother will accept?”

  Lasha puffed her cheeks and slowly let the air out. “I do not know. He took your suggestion, put Ena out and it has been blissfully quiet all day. I have you to thank for that.”

  “You are quite welcome. Tell me, would you have come all the way to the MacGreagor hold alone just to bring back my plaid?” When she reached out her hand, he took it and helped her up. Then he held on to it as she made her way over the rocks toward the horses.

  Once more his touch mystified her and suddenly she was determined—as soon as she could find him, she fully intended to touch Sionn just to see if she found him just a perplexing.”

  “Lasha?”

  “What? Oh, do forgive me, I was thinking of something else.”

  “Something I can help with?”

  She giggled, “You have done quite enough.” She did not mean to say that and found herself trying to quickly recover. “After all, you found Laird Haldane’s son and returned him. I could never ask you to do more than that.”

  Cowan pretended to pout. “I am deeply disappointed.”

  “You are?”

  She looked genuinely concerned so he smiled to ease her mind. “All lads like to think they can be of some help to a lass.”

  “That is odd. I was thinking the same thing before you came. I want a home of my own and a family who needs me. Being needed is very important, do you agree?”

  “I do. Are you unhappy living with your brother...aside from having to endure his wife, I mean.”

  “Not unhappy particularly. I love my brother very much, but he does not need me. His wife does not need me, the laddie does not need me and ...”

  “Being needed is very important.”

  “Aye.” She turned, pulled her sack off her horse and opened it. Then she reached inside and pulled out his clean plaid. “It is washed. I hope it is clean enough.”

  He was sure it was, he’d watched her wash it for the better part of an hour the day before. Still, he unfolded part of it, gave it a good look and then nodded. “I find it be very clean indeed.”

  She was pleased, he was pleased and they seemed to run out of things to say, but he did not want to leave and she did not want him to. Instead, she wanted to touch his face. She knew she should not, but before she realized what she was doing the inside of her hand was flat against his cheek. Suddenly horrified, she quickly jerked it away. “I am...I did not mean...”

  But he didn’t move. Instead, he took hold of her hand and put it back on his face. He watched her eyes, slowly put his arm around her waist and gently pulled. She did not resist, yet she seemed stiff and uncertain so he did nothing more. Instead, he waited and then as he hoped, she took a small step closer and put her head and both her hands on his chest. Her face was turned away from his, but Cowan did not mind. He closed his eyes, wrapped his other arm around her and memorized the feel of her in his arms. She was not yet completely relaxed and so he put his cheek against the top of her head and again he waited.

  The only other man who had ever held her that close was her brother and while his embrace was comforting, it was nothing like... “What is your name?”

  “I am Cowan MacGreagor.”

  She felt him tighten his arms a little more and welcomed it. Never had she felt anything so glorious. “This is wrong, is it not?”

  “It is not wrong unless you are betrothed and you said you were not.”

  She pulled away just enough to look up at him. “I did not lie. It is just that...”

  “It is just that you like being in my arms and therefore we must be doing something wrong?”

  “Aye. If you tell me it is not wrong, I will believe you.”

  “It is not wrong.”

  She smiled, put her head back against his chest and closed her eyes. She knew if she lifted her head again, he would kiss her, but she was not ready for that. From the time she was little she watched her brother kiss his wife. At first it was disgusting but as she got older, she studied it and each time his wife lifted her face to him, he kissed her. It was like a signal of some sort. Therefore, she knew not to do that. On the other hand, she wondered what it might be like if...”

  “Lasha.”

  Suddenly uncertain what she really wanted, she could not risk lifting her face to him. “What?”

  He felt her stiffen, was afraid he frightened her and let go. “I would like very much to stay, but I am expected to do a little hunting.”

  She grinned. “Of course.” She took a step back and lowered her head.

  But he could not bear to leave her like that. He put a finger under her chin and lifted her face. Just as she had the day before, he softly kissed her lips. “It is not wrong.” With that, he mounted his horse and rode north.

  CHAPTER VI

  LASHA WATCHED HIM GO and then made her way back to the edge of the loch. She sat back down, watched the swans and tried to understand what was happening to her. Cowan...his name was Cowan and he said touching him was not wrong, but he did not know about Sionn. Earlier, she was determined to see if Sionn’s touch made her feel the same, but now she could not bear to lose the feel of Cowan’s arms so soon. Therefore, it was wrong and it was all her fault. If she had not kissed Cowan that first day her head would not be filled with thoughts of him and she could marry Sionn without ever knowing the difference. If only she had not kissed Cowan. Cowan...his name was Cowan MacGreagor and she feared she was already hopelessly in love with him.

  Lasha stayed by the loch as long as she dared and then rode home. Suddenly she remembered what Cowan told her about the feast and was anxious to tell her brother, but life was never simple and thoughts of normal things were easily set aside. Ena forgot herself and started yelling again.

  This time when the Haldane bent over to grab his wife behind the knees, she wiggled free of his grasp. However, instead of chasing her around the room, he calmly walked to the table, picked up a challis filled with water, turned and threw it in her face. He set it down and while Ena was recovering from her shock, he bent down, grabbed her behind the knees and slung her over his shoulder. He paused just long enough for Lasha to open the door, carried her out and set her down in the middle of the courtyard.

  It was then that he noticed the people had gathered to watch. Ena was quite a sight sitting in the dirt with water dripping from her hair down her face, and they looked as if they wanted to laugh. But she was, after all, their mistress. “You may laugh if you wish. She has laughed at you often enough.”

  Ena frowned, narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth determined to give her husband a piece of her mind, but just then she noticed not one, but two men bringing buckets of water to their laird.

  “Ena, there will be no more of your yelling.”

  Her husband looked determined, his sister looked determined, the whole clan looked determined and even her toddler son had his hands on his hips glaring at her. “Well I...”

  “Promise you will not yell and you can come back in.”

  It took a great deal of courage for Ena to swallow her pride and submit to her husband’s demands, but sitting in the dirt with people staring at her was not to her liking either. “Oh very well then, I will stop yelling but...”

  “But what, my love, what do you want?”

  “I want you to listen to me occasionally. I only yell because you do not hear me?”

  He offered her his hand, “I assure you, in these many years I have heard every word and I would answer, should you ever stop talking long enough for me to get a word or two said.”

  With his help, Ena pulled herself up and then brushed off the back of her skirt.

  The whole time, Lasha had not really been listening. She spotted Sionn near the back of the crowd an
d watched him instead. She watched him laugh at Ena, watched him roll his eyes at something Ena said and she watched him glance back to see if his horse was where it should be. But not once did he look at her. Again she caught herself mentally comparing the two men and again she reminded herself nothing good could come of that. Sionn would lose on every score and she had not even given him the opportunity to compete.

  She thought about touching Sionn, but it occurred to her he would see her touch as encouragement. On the other hand, what if his touch was distasteful? Shouldn’t she know that before she agreed to marry him? Finally, Sionn looked at her. By then, everyone else including her brother and his wife had gone home and she was standing there alone watching him. She wondered if he would walk away, but he came to her instead.

  “Will you walk with me?”

  Lasha nodded knowing full well by the time they returned the whole clan would have them betrothed if not already married. They might not be wrong, she reasoned and although she could not think of anything to say, she fell into step beside him.

  He did not seem to know what to say either, which soon annoyed her. They were half way down the small valley when she finally broke the silence, “What do you want?”

  Sionn was taken aback by her question and stopped to stare at her, “What?”

  “I mean, what do you want in a wife?”

  “Oh, I do not know, the usual I suppose. I need a wife to give me children.”

  ”And I need a husband to give me children.”

  He smiled, “Unless you have thought of another way.”

  This conversation was not at all going where she wanted it to. “But having children is not all there is to marriage. What kind of woman do you want to spend your days with? Should she be good humored, quiet, prone to argue...what?”

  “Lasha, I hardly see the point of this discussion. I must marry you and you must marry me. Neither of us has a choice in the matter.”

  This time is was Lasha who was stunned. She had not realized Sionn felt as trapped as she did. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I know.” She wanted him to take her in his arms and let her know it would be all right, but he did not so she started to walk again. “Will we be happy or will we hate each other, do you think?”

  “I am a good hunter and you will never go hungry or without skins for warmth in winter. But I cannot promise you happiness. I will try, but I cannot promise it.”

  His honesty was something she always admired about him and she was pleased with it now. “Why did you ask me to marry you now? I mean we have known each other since birth. Why not a week ago or even last year?”

  Sionn studied her eyes for a moment. “I believed there was time still. I hoped to build you a fine cottage with everything new and clean. But....”

  “But what?”

  “You kissed the MacGreagor.”

  She quickly lowered her gaze. “I only meant to thank him.”

  “Aye, but I do not believe he understood that. I fear he will tempt you away and I will have to...”

  “You will have to marry Doileag?”

  He returned her grin. “She might be quite handsome when she is grown, but right now.”

  “It is possible she will not be quite handsome when she is grown too.”

  “Aye, there is that. Married to you will at least allow me to hope for daughters with your very pleasing dimples.”

  “Good heavens, you have never complimented me before. I am quite charmed.”

  Sionn held out his hand and waited for her to take it. “I admit I have been remiss. I thought there was still time, you see.”

  Lasha took his hand. She did not feel excitement in his touch but neither was she repulsed and she began to consider her brother might be right—a woman can fall in love after marriage—particularly with a man who remembers to compliment her occasionally.

  COWAN WANTED NOTHING more than to go back the next day to see if Lasha was at the loch watching the swans. But he had not produced much food for the clan in two days and soon some of the other men would suspect. If a man who loved the thrill of the hunt was distracted it could only mean one thing—his mind was on a woman instead.

  As hard as it was, Cowan stayed away for one complete day, hunted and brought one deer and two rabbits to the clan. It was enough to wave off their suspicions at least for a while.

  On the second day, he could not wait to ride into the forest and make his way to the loch. He found her just as he hoped on the same rock, but this time the sight of her took his breath away. She had taken the ties out of her braids and was combing her silky, waist length hair with her fingers. Every once in a while, the breeze lifted loose strands and the sun turned them to a golden shade of brown.

  CHAPTER VII

  THIS TIME SHE HEARD him coming and turned just before he reached her. Lasha wanted to jump up and run to him. Her heart ached to be in his arms again, but there was something to be said and she’d spent the previous two days practicing to say it.

  He hoped she might be happy to see him, but when he approached, she did not smile. “What is it?”

  “Will you sit with me?” She watched his nod and then waited for him to find a rock and sit down not far from her. Instead of talking to him, she turned to watch the swans. She thought she had all the right words chosen, but with him so close, she could not remember what they were.

  “Has someone died?”

  She glanced at him and then quickly looked away. “Nay, it is not quite that serious.”

  “What then?”

  “I am a Haldane.” When he started to comment, she held up her hand to stop him. “In ancient times, my ancestor lived under a harsh and cruel laird whom he detested. He convinced other families to join him in making a new clan. They slipped away in the night, found this land and were very happy for about a year. But the men the Haldane took with him were Laird Clarion’s strongest and best warriors. As a result, the Clarions lost their land in a war with another clan. They blamed Laird Haldane, sought him out and killed all but three members of his family. From these three, we have grown and it is our solemn vow to keep the clan together in memory of our ancestor. It is fitting, proper and good. Do you not agree?”

  Cowan suspected there was some hidden meaning in her story and was hesitant, but at length he nodded. “Why do you tell me this?”

  “Because we cannot honor his memory if our women marry outside our clan.”

  He felt as though an arrow had pierced his heart and tried desperately to hide his pain by turning and pretending to watch the swans. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to think of some reasonable argument. “Have you already made your pledge?”

  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Not yet, but I can put him off no longer. He is a good lad; he will not hurt me.”

  “Do you love him?”

  It was the question she feared most and she fully intended to say she did, but a tear rolled down her cheek. She brushed it away and instead of saying yes, she said nothing at all.

  “Lasha, I...”

  “Try to understand, you are the forbidden fruit. To love you would be to hurt my brother and my clan. I cannot do that.”

  “There is little I can say, then.” He stood back up and offered her his hand. For a long moment, she stared at it and then at last, her hand was in his. Suddenly, she was in his arms once more, his lips were on hers and she was returning his passion with her own.

  He held her in his embrace until Lasha finally pulled away. “Will you change your mind?”

  “Nay.”

  He held both her hands and looked into her eyes. “If he hurts you...if ever you should need me, tie a cloth around at tree at the edge of this clearing and I will come to you.”

  She reluctantly pulled her hands away, “I will not have you coming here every day to look for a cloth. Knowing you are so close and not being able to be with you would make me daft in a fortnight.”

  At least at that he could smile, “It would not take
me nearly as long.”

  Lasha put a finger to his lips. “Promise you will not come back. I must forget you and you must be free to find another love. Please, please, promise you will not come back.”

  Cowan did not promise. Instead, he took her in his arms once more, kissed her hard, walked away and then mounted his horse. Just before he left, he said, “Do you believe your ancestor truly wanted you to be miserable for his sake?”

  She thought about that briefly, watched him go and in just a few moments, he disappeared into the forest. He was gone, she loved him and being in his arms for such a short time was not enough. Lasha couldn’t help herself. She sunk to her knees and wept. Nothing short of the death of her father had hurt so much as this.

  ON THE OTHER SIDE OF the loch, Sionn watched it all. He saw the MacGreagor leave and watched Lasha weeping. But instead of going to her or even chasing after the MacGreagor as most men would have, he rode back to the village, brushed his horse dry and then put him out to pasture.

  Each day Lasha went to the loch to watch the swans. She wavered between hoping Cowan would come and praying he would not. He stayed away and each time she left the loch without seeing him, she hurt yet again.

  In the evenings, she walked with Sionn and tried to convince herself he was the right husband. She was learning to like him well enough, she just did not love him...not the way she loved Cowan. Sionn held her finally, on the evening of the third day and she let him kiss her.

  There was no fire or passion. It was just a kiss.

  Maybe the fire and the passion would come later but she was not holding out much hope. Sionn did not seem any more pleased with the kiss than she was and once she was back in her little room, she sat on the bed, pulled her knees up under her chin and wept. Life had suddenly become cruel and unforgiving.

  BY MIDMORNING OF THE fourth day everything changed. One of the Haldane men shouted something about MacGreagors and everyone rushed to the courtyard to watch. Lasha was amazed to see Cowan and two other men riding their horses down the hillside. At first Laird Haldane’s men kept their hands on the handle of their swords prepared to fight, but their laird saw nothing threatening and waved his hand to ease them. Then he stood in the middle of the courtyard and waited.